Sarcastic rhyme about gun control - do not read

For the next school shooting - may God prevent it - for all those cynical left wingnuts out there who still don't think that when guns evolve as a solution, one should also invent the problems it can solve, here's a distasteful song that you may reprint for free.

If you are personally affected by the recent tragedy in any way, I strongly urge you to stop reading. If, however, you haven't made up your mind yet about gun control, and you don't know in which drawer to put your sarcasm, this rhyme wants to shake you.

you better watch out,

you better go run

he comes after you

and he's got a gun

he's armed like a trooper

and he bought it all on line

freedom is super dooper

now doesn't that feel fine

ho!

you better watch out,

you better go run

he comes after you

and he's got a gun

he wields his AR fifteen

what a work of art

and points it at a pre-teen

the censor took out this part

Second Amendmen shooting your town

Second Amendmen shooting your town

Second Amendmen shooting - your town

you better watch out

you better go run

he comes after you

and he's got a gun

A Bushmaster two two three

and an AK forty-seven

the targets of his shooting spree

they never turned eleven

ho!

you better watch out

you better go run

he comes after you

and he's got a gun

Rudolf's throwing grenates

he's the reindeer in the room

he's after all your classmates

and he's gonna make the place go "boom"

Second Amendmen shooting your town

Second Amendmen shooting your town

Second Amendmen shooting - your town

you better watch out

you better go run

he comes after you

and he's got a gun

***

I strongly hope we will never experience another massacre again, and that governments around the world will find the courage and wisdom to prevent them in 2013 and all the years to come.

Best of humanity

"This is not a vacation, gentlemen" sounded the speaker of the space shuttle. A group of five distinguished white males looked at each other but didn't seem the least uncomfortable.
"You have been democratically elected because you are the most promising individuals to continue humankind. We the people have voted for you. Don't let us down in outer space" the voice continued. The men, who were all dressed in elegant suits and most of whom had a modestly protruding belly, nodded.
"The election process has been straightforward and simple, to make sure that also average Dreamericans could join, that is, if they would possess a quality that enhances their survival out there. Every single individual has had a fair chance to raise funds and run an honest campaign to demonstrate their superiority and aptitude for survival in outer space."
-"Amen!" said one of the gentleman.

Our last hope

"You are in a capsule that is bound to travel for several years through space. All amenities have been provided and there is nothing to worry about. You are expected to arrive on Saturn, that is a little bit more than one light-hour away, in four years time, where we the people will put all our faith in you as you will re-establish civilization there."
The gentlemen all nodded, and some started humming the national anthem.
"It has been established, that runaway climate change is now unstoppable and the earth will be scorched in its entirety in a matter of years, if not months. Science has shown that this is an irreversible process. Some people have called this a problem, but they don't realise that their negativity is not taking them anywhere good. You, the chosen, have been selected for your incredible optimism."
One gentleman attempted to applause at this point.
"Your incredible optimism and belief in the future of humankind is what has made you the sole legitimate representatives of our species in the new territories we are going to conquer. We believe in your incredible skills and unyielding persistence, that you have already proven during your campaigns to become the democratically elected superior individuals of our species."
-"Amen!" repeated the gentleman who had spoken before.
"I will now go through the list of names. Please stick up your hand if your name is mentioned. Brandon M. Romney of Goldman Sachs. Present. George W. Paulson of Barclays. Present. Rexona Tillerspoon of Rude Oil. Present. Ben Berbanksy of the FED. Present. Nathan Rothwild. Present."
"You will be the last remaining individuals of our species. All our faith in you, and upon you we bestow the hope of our last breaths. All technology you will need to restart civilization on Saturn is available in this capsule. In case you need to reproduce, you can do so in vitro, and you'll find eggs in the fridge. May I now have your attention please. Here is a message from our sponsors-"

The real truth of infinite growth

Extinguish everyone that is not us, everything that is not human, let every organism go extinct, with the exception of us, homo sapiens, let the mammals die, the reptiles, the bees, the plankton - never mind our primitive ancestors once were dependent on them for their survival. We won't be. We will have machines to manufacture or print all the molecules we need for our sustenance, and we will optimize the process so we will live on light and silicon. The bottom line is that everything that is not us, and cannot become us, should be destroyed. Some old fashioned critics say that this idea is the result of some deep trauma, somehow the result of nature. As if we were depending on something abstract like nature!

Don't believe their propaganda! You know better. We need infinite growth. All the numbers say that, all the economists say that. So we need to destroy and replace everything that is not us with machines and then with better machines. That is the only way we can go on forever. Don't you see it? Don't you see how it is our moral obligation to destroy everything that is not us? What kind of world would that be, where we would allow something other than us to subsist. Could you even imagine that? Something other than us? That would be so profoundly wrong.

No. We can't let that happen. But we are doing fine. We are getting rid of 200 species that are not us everyday, and that number is rising. We are also doing good when it comes to diminishing forests and rivers.We are doing what we can to destroy dirty tribal cultures that are not us, and that, too, is rather successful. Furthermore, the oceans will be void of life before we are halfway this century. Once we have gotten rid of biological matter and other unhygienic stuff that is not us, we will devise a plan to get rid of other things.

Some critics say we can never reach the goal of being completely independent of matter. But that is precisely the point! That is what allows us to sustain infinite growth on a finite rock. We are not matter, that is what matters. Once we have materialized ourselves in silicon we will be advanced enough to realize that we are not silicon, which gives us the moral obligation to destroy all silicon. And we will replace it with another element. And then another one. Since that is the ultimate goal of humanity, and the very source of our dignity: infinitely destroying everything that is not us.